"God is love." (1 John 4:8)
Getting to know God and connecting with him will bring great happiness and peace into your life.
Sunday, November 18, 2018
Sunday, November 11, 2018
Steps to Find Happiness
I've been thinking about some steps that I've been taking that are helping me to find more happiness in my life. Here are 10 things that have helped me:
1. Be ok not being ok, for now...Realize that your situation is not permanent. You can make healthy changes and over time you will find yourself in a much better place. Change takes time. It will not happen instantaneously. Allow yourself time to go through the process.
2. Set goals- There are two steps in setting goals that you can use and both of them will help you pull through. The first step is to have an idea about something you would like to do. Dreaming about possibilities and not living in the mindset that you are stuck in your current situation can help pull you out of difficult times. The next step cannot be skipped or forgotten though if you would like your dreams to someday become a reality. The second step of goal setting is to set small, achievable goals that will help you reach your dream. If your dream is to be able to run a half marathon next year, your small achievable goals could be to select and stick to a training plan each day until the day of the race. If your dream is to go on a vacation, your small, achievable goals could include picking a place and putting aside a specific amount of money every month to save so that you can afford to go. Or if you don't have a job, that would be an important first step.
3. Spend quality time with people that you love. This will always lift your spirits.
4. Eat healthy foods- when your body is taken care of you will feel better physically, which will help improve your mental state.
5. Get enough sleep. This is also important to having a healthy mindset.
6. Spend time doing the things that you love. This may sound like common sense, but when you are going through something difficult it is easy to forget. Make time to go to the gym, or paint, or have a game night, or listen to music, or dance, or sing, or whatever it is that you love to do.
7. Count your blessings. No matter what your situation is, it could always be worse. Even if you feel like you've hit rock bottom in your personal life, there is always someone, maybe in another country or another part of the world whose situation is far worse than yours. When you are grateful for all that you do have, even if it isn't a lot at the time, you will feel more happiness in your life.
8. Exercise Daily- Getting enough exercise to release endorphins will help you feel happier as well.
9. Have a Morning Routine- Start your morning off right. When you wake up in the morning your attitude sets the tone for the whole day. Wake up with positive thoughts. List three things you are grateful for every morning. Pray. Thank God for the blessing it is to be alive. Don't ask him for anything until your evening prayers or a prayer later on.
10. Positive Self-Talk- Use positive mantras every day! Think them in the morning when you wake up. Post a picture of them in your bedroom. Put them as the background on your phone or computer (or somewhere where you will see them.) Think of what mantras are most meaningful to you and use those. I like to pick three.
1. Be ok not being ok, for now...Realize that your situation is not permanent. You can make healthy changes and over time you will find yourself in a much better place. Change takes time. It will not happen instantaneously. Allow yourself time to go through the process.
2. Set goals- There are two steps in setting goals that you can use and both of them will help you pull through. The first step is to have an idea about something you would like to do. Dreaming about possibilities and not living in the mindset that you are stuck in your current situation can help pull you out of difficult times. The next step cannot be skipped or forgotten though if you would like your dreams to someday become a reality. The second step of goal setting is to set small, achievable goals that will help you reach your dream. If your dream is to be able to run a half marathon next year, your small achievable goals could be to select and stick to a training plan each day until the day of the race. If your dream is to go on a vacation, your small, achievable goals could include picking a place and putting aside a specific amount of money every month to save so that you can afford to go. Or if you don't have a job, that would be an important first step.
3. Spend quality time with people that you love. This will always lift your spirits.
4. Eat healthy foods- when your body is taken care of you will feel better physically, which will help improve your mental state.
5. Get enough sleep. This is also important to having a healthy mindset.
6. Spend time doing the things that you love. This may sound like common sense, but when you are going through something difficult it is easy to forget. Make time to go to the gym, or paint, or have a game night, or listen to music, or dance, or sing, or whatever it is that you love to do.
7. Count your blessings. No matter what your situation is, it could always be worse. Even if you feel like you've hit rock bottom in your personal life, there is always someone, maybe in another country or another part of the world whose situation is far worse than yours. When you are grateful for all that you do have, even if it isn't a lot at the time, you will feel more happiness in your life.
8. Exercise Daily- Getting enough exercise to release endorphins will help you feel happier as well.
9. Have a Morning Routine- Start your morning off right. When you wake up in the morning your attitude sets the tone for the whole day. Wake up with positive thoughts. List three things you are grateful for every morning. Pray. Thank God for the blessing it is to be alive. Don't ask him for anything until your evening prayers or a prayer later on.
10. Positive Self-Talk- Use positive mantras every day! Think them in the morning when you wake up. Post a picture of them in your bedroom. Put them as the background on your phone or computer (or somewhere where you will see them.) Think of what mantras are most meaningful to you and use those. I like to pick three.
Live the Life You've Always Wanted to Live
You decide what you get to do in life. You make it happen! The possibilities are endless. Use your imagination. Dream big!
Sometimes things happen that are out of your control. You get to decide how you will deal with it and move forward. You are still deciding your destiny.
How do you reach your goals?
Make a vision board-- with pictures!
A vision board is a simple poster with pictures of goals that you have. I also include words. You could post a picture of a trip you want to go on, a language you want to learn, a new talent you want to develop, a fitness goal, or a sport you want to learn.
Posting this in a place where it is visible for you to see daily and looking at these pictures will help remind you of your goals and help you reach them!
I've created a simpler version of a vision board by posting my goals around my mirror that I can look at every day as I get ready in the morning. And I spend at least 30 minutes getting ready every morning, so that is lots of reinforcement of these goals in my mind. :)
4 Gems That Get Me Through Hard Times
Where is the Pavilion? By: Elder Eyring
Yielding Our Hearts to God By: Neill Marriott
Joy and Spiritual Survival By: President Russell M. Nelson
Good Things to Come By: Elder Holland
Yielding Our Hearts to God By: Neill Marriott
Joy and Spiritual Survival By: President Russell M. Nelson
Good Things to Come By: Elder Holland
Lessons Learned From Elizabeth Smart
Earlier this year Elizabeth Smart came and spoke in my city. She spoke about her childhood abduction and the difficulties she endured. She talked about how she dealt with not giving up and finding self worth. She talked about forgiveness.
She has been through so much! Yet what amazed me about her is her ability to be positive. She kept going after it all and found happiness. She has a career, is married, and has a family. She is happy today. Yet while she was going through her trials she felt hopeless.
The most powerful message that I learned from her is:
"Don't give up on happiness"
Even if you don't see it now or anywhere in your near future. It can happen for you like it happened for her!
She also talked about forgiveness. She talked about how her captors will never care whether she forgives them or not but that she has to do it for herself. She said that:
"Forgiveness is letting go and moving on with your life."
Forgiveness for her was setting goals and moving forward. It was letting go. Not because they deserved to be forgiven but because she deserved happiness.
She has been through so much! Yet what amazed me about her is her ability to be positive. She kept going after it all and found happiness. She has a career, is married, and has a family. She is happy today. Yet while she was going through her trials she felt hopeless.
The most powerful message that I learned from her is:
"Don't give up on happiness"
Even if you don't see it now or anywhere in your near future. It can happen for you like it happened for her!
She also talked about forgiveness. She talked about how her captors will never care whether she forgives them or not but that she has to do it for herself. She said that:
"Forgiveness is letting go and moving on with your life."
Forgiveness for her was setting goals and moving forward. It was letting go. Not because they deserved to be forgiven but because she deserved happiness.
Believe in Yourself
You can do anything when you believe.
I learned this when I went skiing for the first time with my boyfriend (at the time.) I was extremely nervous because I had been skiing before...and it was a really bad experience! I fell off the ski lift trying to get off and almost got run over by two people that were getting off after me. I also had my snow pants on wrong and there was a really sharp piece of metal that was supposed to go on the outside of my boots that I put inside of my boots and it rubbed against my leg the whole night. By the end of the night I could barely walk on that foot it hurt so badly. But my boyfriend loved skiing, so I decided that I would try again and go with him...
When we got to the ski area and were deciding which path to go on first, I insisted that we try the bunny hill. He told me that the bunny hill wasn't really that much easier than the regular trail. Then he told me to try skiing down a tiny hill right in front of us. He said that if I could do that I was ready for the mountain. I knew that because I couldn't ski down that little hill I wasn't ready for the big mountain. So I tried skiing down it to prove him wrong. When I successfully navigated the little hill, it surprised me. Call me naïve, but after that I actually believed him. I loved him so much and he was so good at everything that I thought that he must know what he was talking about. Since I had been wrong about the tiny hill I thought that he must be right. I believed him that I could do the big hill and we took the ski lift all the way to the top of the mountain. Whereas I couldn't ski at all on my first skiing trip, this time I felt brave, courageous, and empowered. I skied successfully all the way down the mountain! He had so much confidence in me that I had it in myself. I actually skied pretty well and I felt fantastic. Why was this time so different than my last experience? Because I believed that I could do it. He had confidence in me which created confidence in myself.
Since this experience I have learned that I need to be the one who instills my own confidence. I have realized that I can do anything I believe, and I shouldn't need to rely on someone else to tell me that. I need to empower myself.
I learned this when I went skiing for the first time with my boyfriend (at the time.) I was extremely nervous because I had been skiing before...and it was a really bad experience! I fell off the ski lift trying to get off and almost got run over by two people that were getting off after me. I also had my snow pants on wrong and there was a really sharp piece of metal that was supposed to go on the outside of my boots that I put inside of my boots and it rubbed against my leg the whole night. By the end of the night I could barely walk on that foot it hurt so badly. But my boyfriend loved skiing, so I decided that I would try again and go with him...
When we got to the ski area and were deciding which path to go on first, I insisted that we try the bunny hill. He told me that the bunny hill wasn't really that much easier than the regular trail. Then he told me to try skiing down a tiny hill right in front of us. He said that if I could do that I was ready for the mountain. I knew that because I couldn't ski down that little hill I wasn't ready for the big mountain. So I tried skiing down it to prove him wrong. When I successfully navigated the little hill, it surprised me. Call me naïve, but after that I actually believed him. I loved him so much and he was so good at everything that I thought that he must know what he was talking about. Since I had been wrong about the tiny hill I thought that he must be right. I believed him that I could do the big hill and we took the ski lift all the way to the top of the mountain. Whereas I couldn't ski at all on my first skiing trip, this time I felt brave, courageous, and empowered. I skied successfully all the way down the mountain! He had so much confidence in me that I had it in myself. I actually skied pretty well and I felt fantastic. Why was this time so different than my last experience? Because I believed that I could do it. He had confidence in me which created confidence in myself.
Since this experience I have learned that I need to be the one who instills my own confidence. I have realized that I can do anything I believe, and I shouldn't need to rely on someone else to tell me that. I need to empower myself.
Regaining Trust
Trust = Vulnerability + Validation
Trust may be hard to find again after it is broken. Find people who you can be open and honest with. These are the people who deserve your trust.
Trust may be hard to find again after it is broken. Find people who you can be open and honest with. These are the people who deserve your trust.
Setting Goals
There are two steps in setting goals that you can use and both of them will help you pull through. The first step is to have an idea about something you would like to do. Dreaming about possibilities and not living in the mindset that you are stuck in your current situation can help pull you out of difficult times. The next step cannot be skipped or forgotten though if you would like your dreams to someday become a reality. The second step of goal setting is to set small, achievable goals that will help you reach your dream. If your dream is to be able to run a half marathon next year, your small achievable goals could be to select and stick to a training plan each day until the day of the race. If your dream is to go on a vacation, your small, achievable goals could include picking a place and putting aside a specific amount of money every month to save so that you can afford to go. Or if you don't have a job, that would be an important first step.
Setting small but attainable goals will help empower you. You will feel good when you accomplish your goals and can continue to set further small goals until you reach something amazing!
Setting small but attainable goals will help empower you. You will feel good when you accomplish your goals and can continue to set further small goals until you reach something amazing!
Mantras
My 8th grade teacher had this poster hanging up in his classroom.
Mantras are a powerful thing! What you think about is the first step to forming your destiny! It also helps you to have healthy thoughts about yourself and to feel empowered on a daily basis.
You should chose a mantra that has the most meaning for you.
My mantras are: I am strong. I matter. I am loved.
I always say them put together because it adds more power and meaning when I say them all at once.
Here is how I chose mine. One thing that is important to me as an individual is feeling that my contributions are appreciated and make a difference. I like to feel that people are paying attention to my feelings, thoughts, and efforts. I decided that I could shorten this to say: I matter. Another thing that is important to me is feeling loved. I love to feel that no matter my imperfections, people support me and care about me. Loyalty and true love are important to me. I also love to be adored in romantic relationships. I don't care about having a million friends, but I value quality relationships that matter. I can sum this up into a mantra by saying: I am loved. Another mantra that I chose was "I am strong." I chose this one for different reasons than the others. I chose it because sometimes I don't feel that way, and saying it somehow reassures me that I am strong.
Figure out your emotional holes and what you need to hear to be reassured, comforted, and feel happy.
Other possibilities or ideas include:
I am capable. I am beautiful. I am enough.
I am talented. I am brave. I am kind.
Choose something that has the most meaning for you.
Literally, just reading the words in my mantra daily makes me feel empowered and brings me joy.
Another fun idea that you can do with your mantras is to engrave them into jewelry. I saw this idea from a friend. At Christmas time we were exchanging presents and one of the ladies had gotten a bracelet from her daughter that said, "I am strong. I am beautiful. I am enough." I longed for a bracelet with mantras on it. I thought that if I could just get one like that that I really would be brave enough and feel confident enough when I wore it to go on with my life at that point in time. It offered so much hope for me. So I got one made! And I gave one to a friend.
The website is https://my-whys.com/. I chose the 14K gold bangle bracelet to have engraved.
Morning Routine
How you wake up in the morning will set the tone for the rest of your day! I got this idea from watching a YouTube video about Waking Up in the Morning.
If you wake up and feel annoyed that you have to be getting out of bed so early, you will feel annoyed the rest of the day.
If you wake up and feel excited about something that is happening during the day, you will automatically carry energy and positivity with you during the day.
If you wake up and think about things that you are grateful for, you will have a spirit of gratitude with you throughout the day.
You may be thinking, "What if I don't feel excitement about anything in my life right now?" You can overcome this obstacle by planning something to look forward to each day. It could be as simple as playing the piano for a few minutes after work, or going out for ice cream that day. Remind yourself about that thing you are excited to do in the morning so that it is on your mind. And there is always something to be grateful for!
This may sound silly, but I actually have a morning routine that I follow, and it WORKS! I do these things daily and it helps me to start each day off right. You are welcome to try as much or as little of this for your own daily routine!
My morning routine:
If you wake up and feel annoyed that you have to be getting out of bed so early, you will feel annoyed the rest of the day.
If you wake up and feel excited about something that is happening during the day, you will automatically carry energy and positivity with you during the day.
If you wake up and think about things that you are grateful for, you will have a spirit of gratitude with you throughout the day.
You may be thinking, "What if I don't feel excitement about anything in my life right now?" You can overcome this obstacle by planning something to look forward to each day. It could be as simple as playing the piano for a few minutes after work, or going out for ice cream that day. Remind yourself about that thing you are excited to do in the morning so that it is on your mind. And there is always something to be grateful for!
This may sound silly, but I actually have a morning routine that I follow, and it WORKS! I do these things daily and it helps me to start each day off right. You are welcome to try as much or as little of this for your own daily routine!
My morning routine:
- Watch inspirational video clip (10 minutes) Ex: (Fall Forward, Retrain Your Mind, Find Yourself, Morning Motivation, I can, I will, I must)
- Take a shower (10 minutes)
- Scripture Reading (20 minutes) To learn positive messages and doctrine. I read scriptures or General Conference talks
- Positive Self Talk: (3 sentences!)
- Heather I'm proud of you for ____. I say 3 things that I'm proud of myself for. Three meaningful things that maybe only I know that I've done.
- Heather I forgive you for _______. I say one thing that I felt bad about that I decide to let go. I forgive myself and don't worry about it anymore.
- Heather I commit to you that _____. I make a commitment to myself that I will do one thing each day that is important to me. I keep that commitment to myself.
- Exercise (20 minutes- I have actually recently moved doing this to the evenings. But if you shower in the evenings I would recommend doing this in the morning to help wake your body up before reading.)
- List 3 Things I'm sincerely grateful for (2 minutes)
- Breakfast (I eat while listening to a meaningful song that will inspire me for the day. I use an iPod with headphones so as to not wake anyone else up. :) )
I'm a Survivor
Yesterday I wrote a post on Facebook about how I was feeling:
My mom responded "Heather, you make my heart proud. I have watched you go through so much and you amaze me with your strength and beauty. You are not only a survivor, but a warrior who takes on any challenge and comes out victorious. I love you!"
This comment made my heart happy. I realized that I am a fighter. I have been taught how to get through difficult times and to have a positive attitude through it all.
This helped me realize that I need to continue this blog to try and help others to find the same joy, happiness, and positivity through their trials as well. I will continue to post some nuggets of wisdom that I have with you.
"I am a survivor! Of enduring tragic loss & trauma... And this morning I'm feeling proud to be where I am today!
When if first happened over 2 years ago, I'll admit that I didn't feel that way at all. The idea of being a "survivor" was terrible. I wished I wasn't...Why did I have to go on alone?
Yet, over time I have started to see the beauty of life again & realize that I can take control of my own destiny. I look forward to opportunities & possibilities.
In church we are studying the many names of Christ right now--and the different meanings that these names have--Savior, Redeemer, Lord, etc. At this point in time I feel like I am most grateful for him as my "Messiah," meaning deliverer. He is delivering me from my pain, heartache, despair, trauma, and leading me in a path of safety and hope. I feel so blessed to have his hope, love, and peace through this all!
It hasn't been all peaches and cream, I've had my good and bad days, but I feel proud of growth I've had and where I'm at today!" #feelingvictorious #hopeinchrist
When if first happened over 2 years ago, I'll admit that I didn't feel that way at all. The idea of being a "survivor" was terrible. I wished I wasn't...Why did I have to go on alone?
Yet, over time I have started to see the beauty of life again & realize that I can take control of my own destiny. I look forward to opportunities & possibilities.
In church we are studying the many names of Christ right now--and the different meanings that these names have--Savior, Redeemer, Lord, etc. At this point in time I feel like I am most grateful for him as my "Messiah," meaning deliverer. He is delivering me from my pain, heartache, despair, trauma, and leading me in a path of safety and hope. I feel so blessed to have his hope, love, and peace through this all!
It hasn't been all peaches and cream, I've had my good and bad days, but I feel proud of growth I've had and where I'm at today!" #feelingvictorious #hopeinchrist
My mom responded "Heather, you make my heart proud. I have watched you go through so much and you amaze me with your strength and beauty. You are not only a survivor, but a warrior who takes on any challenge and comes out victorious. I love you!"
This comment made my heart happy. I realized that I am a fighter. I have been taught how to get through difficult times and to have a positive attitude through it all.
This helped me realize that I need to continue this blog to try and help others to find the same joy, happiness, and positivity through their trials as well. I will continue to post some nuggets of wisdom that I have with you.
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